If you’re anything like me, you’ve always felt different from those around you. The unrelenting pace of the world doesn’t suit you—never has—and while everyone else is out there hustling on that grind, you’re sensing things they don’t and feeling further and further behind as a result.
Growing up I had always had a bit of a sixth sense, so for me magic and spirituality seemed like the perfect solution to my feelings of displacement. It promised healing (which I desperately needed), empowerment, and a measure of control over chaos. In my mind, if I didn’t belong anywhere normal, maybe normal wasn’t where I should be looking for belonging. Maybe I could somehow tap into my inner weird and find meaning there.
So I deep-dived into witchcraft hoping to better understand myself and my purpose. I’m a deep-diver by nature, bordering on obsessive, so I became proficient quickly. I consulted pendulums and tarot cards, followed moon cycles, read astrological birth charts, studied human design, the enneagram—anything to figure out my calling.
And it worked.
I will never say it didn’t work at first. Magic is real, and it works—until it doesn’t. For a while I was really reconnecting with myself in a positive way. Then I plateaued.
Within three years I fell into a depression and became more lethargic, exhausted, and disheartened than I was before I started. It was like I hit a nice, thicc with two c’s brick wall. A bricc wall, if you will.
Consulting my spirit guides gave me nothing but cyclical answers. My tarot readings started to contradict themselves. My pendulum couldn’t make up its mind. Nothing that used to help helped. No matter how much shadow work I did, or how many crystals I had, I was stuck in a limbo I couldn’t break free from, failing at the one thing I had going for me.
I spiraled. Eventually nothing mattered to me anymore. I didn’t find joy in any of my old hobbies. The thought of starting anything new seemed like too much of an effort to bother with. My life was completely stagnant. I failed at the thing I thought was my purpose, so what was left for me? I began to ask myself why I was even alive in the first place. It was like being erased from the inside out.
What finally changed?
So glad you asked.
Apothegraphics is a small thing really, just a record of my testimony. It was born from an equally small whisper, but that whisper that led me out of the bondage of witchcraft, magic, and spiritual self-reliance in a big way.
That whisper led me to Jesus, and my life hasn’t been the same since.
What does that mean for you?
Well, truthfully I can’t answer that, but what I can do is offer you:
- A space for transition and a renewal of faith
- Biblical understanding of spiritual gifts
- Art, storytelling, and a scripture-based approach to life
All I can say is that if you see yourself in my story, there is grace for your past available to you, and peace ahead should you want it.
You are not alone.
The content shared on Apothegraphics is grounded in a personal faith journey out of the occult. I am not a licensed counselor, therapist, or spiritual advisor. Nothing I share here is intended to replace professional support, nor is it meant to condemn those who are still exploring. While my hope is to point others toward truth and healing in Christ, each reader is responsible for their own spiritual walk.
